Today I am aware of my emotions and how I respond to them. I don’t always know what causes them but my involuntary response to most overwhelming emotions are tears. I have also noticed that I do not always express what I want from others and then find myself upset even though I know people can’t read my mind.
I am not an assertive person and worry about getting a negative response if I share my feelings or ask for what I want from others, but my logic is not generally rational. I should be able to ask for what I want or share my feelings and if the other person is disagreeable that is ok, too. This is something I need to work on.
I see that I need to better express myself.
I am aware that my typical emotional response in overwhelming situations is to cry.
I notice that this is something I want to work on.
I feel that with work this is something I can improve upon.
It makes me feel hopeful to believe I can be more assertive with my needs and feelings.
Sidereal Catalyst 
My involuntary response tends to be the silent treatment. Not just to the person that may have been the tipping point, but to the world. I have a dark place inside that overthinks everything, and when I’m upset I go there. But it’s hard for me to get out of that place so I tend to fight tooth and nail, on the way down, but once I reach that place… it’s just gonna take time.
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I also tend to keep quiet about how I’m really feeling. It seems easier to isolate myself than confront the situation that is bothering me in many cases. I see similarities between how you handle things and how I do. I appreciate your sharing this side of yourself with me.
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I think you will succeed, not all at once, but in the way of growth. The imag come to mind of how a plant naturally grows toward the sun. Your awareness and goal of change is your sun to grow toward. When you need support, just ask. Its OK.
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It is definitely a process, Robert. I like your imagery of a plant growing towards the sun 🙂 I feel like the progress I make in these areas is moving me to a brighter place!
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Awareness is a beginning.
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I wish you success, Abbie. I hope you find your inner strength.
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I’m really impressed that you’ve had these thoughts and that you’re seeking to improve in yourself what you find wanting.
I hope I learn to develop that self-awareness. I tend to get snippy with people when I’m upset, and that’s definitely something I need to work on. I think my main emotional response to upset is shutdown, which is unhelpful all round. You’ve given me lots to think about.
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You’re kinda magnificent, I hope you know that. ♡
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You are too kind, my friend ❤ Thank you!
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Such beautiful words! Awareness is the start of significant change, you will get to where you want to be, I can see it! XO
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Thank you, Pete 🙂 Your friendship and support has always been helpful to me!
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Your words defined most of the things I go through in life. I grew up in a family that doesn’t share much words (although big in actions). But as an overthinking introvert, I thrive in deep conversations and I find it cathartic to release feelings to someone I trust. So I bottled up most thoughts and turned inward through emotions, mostly tears even in happy circumstances. Writing has eased some of those that I need to release but here are still some hurts that remains to be laid down and fear keeps me from doing so. It can be a challenge, but yes, trying to be assertive with feelings and about the things that we want is a good step to take. Thank you.
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I’m glad you connected with this piece 🙂 I know how you feel, clearly haha. Being assertive is hard but it can be very rewarding, it’s something I have to work on daily and it remains a challenge for me. Best wishes to you!
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